1st Poll : Mahjong with teacher?
I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now. Some students had asked me if I played mahjong. I had replied enthusiastically 'yes'. My students got very excited and subsequently asked if they could come to my house to play mahjong. I discovered they loved the game, as much as, if not more, than I do.I personally believe mahjong is a wonderful Chinese invention. I grew up watching my father play mahjong, and my student mahjong players had similar experiences. I also believe playing mahjong is no different from, say, playing poker, bridge or even Scrabble. It is a game of strategy, requiring a keen eye, good memory, cunning moves and of course, some luck.
The fact that many people equate playing mahjong with gambling has its roots in the gambling dens of old when mahjong was one of the games played, plus the many Hong Kong and even local movies and soaps which feature mahjong as its chief gambling activity. Plus, most people would play mahjong with money, as that adds to the thrill of the game.
Therein lies my dilemma. I do not think it is morally wrong to have students at my house to play mahjong, as long as no money is at stake and I'm not encouraging them to gamble. Heck, I think it is no different from inviting them to my house to play Monopoly. My students are not keen to gamble to start with. They just want to indulge in a game that they love to play.
But I fnd myself hesitating before giving them an answer. Because I know there are people who may think otherwise. My principal for one. Maybe even my student's parents? A teacher having students over for mahjong?? What on earth is she thinking of?
So I've decided to do a poll here, just to gauge what public opinion is on this. What do you think? If you are a parent, would you object if your kid goes to a teacher's house to play mahjong? What if you are my colleague and hear of me doing such a thing?
I've told my students I'll think about it first. And I want to be really clear on this before I do something that is career-limiting. So your views would be greatly appreciated.
posted by trisha @ 9:59 PM
18 Comments:
Personally I will feel it is fine but still I will not ask my students over for manjong game bcoz there is too much at stake, career, life etc.
Unoffically, if a teacher is present at any offical or unoffical function (BBQ) whether in school or outside school, teacher has to take responsibllty if any accident happens. My school P have openly said this during a staff meeting. Even if a teacher left the BBQ, then student drown or whatever, teacher has to take the responsiblity.
What's more. Students will use the excuse to the parents that teacher will be at the BBQ, then parent may mistake it to be a school function since the teacher is around.
On top of this, I have to think about my family. I am not saying that I cannot afford to lose the job but at least I will find a job before I quit and not wait for them to sack me and make me take the shit. Most 'P's will not want to take the shit 4 us.
I think you'd better not.
Mahjong has a negative connotation, regardless of how you would rather see it.
The knife can be pointed at the teacher easily in such a case. Don't risk your career.
Well, just so as you get an idea of what I mean, I know of one teacher who lives near her school. So one weekend, she wears a short pair of shorts to go downstairs to buy something. On Monday, she is called in to the P's office. A parent had complained that her short shorts were demonstrating a bad influence to her students.
Hey trisha,
I wouldn't go if I were you.
I'm sure your conscience is clear, but others would not think that way.
You might have to waste your valuable time deflecting questions after that. My opinion is to play it safe.
Hey Jeanie,
Wah lau! Wear shorts also cannot! I've been dressing very sloppily around my neighbourhood all my life!
Can't these people lighten up a bit?
i'm afraid that i have to agree with all the comments so far in saying that you shouldn't do it. however, i do see your point that mahjong can be as harmless as a game of monopoly.
the simple fact is that teachers are placed in the limelight, more often than not. they are expected by the general population to be role models for students and thus get more attention than most jobs. it sucks to consistently be a role model i.e. have conservative hairstyles, proper clothes, not drink, not gamble and put on your best behaviour all the time.
I have heard of teachers who went on their own gathering and ordered beer for themselves. when the stall-owner knew they were teachers, the response was: you all are teachers! how can you drink!
And remember the TV series where Chen HanWei was acting as a teacher? he got shit just becoz his hair was long and thick.
if you really really want to play with your students, it has to be in an informal setting. and they prob cannot tell anyone abt it, especially their parents. but such a condition is hard to keep. sooner or later, tongues would wag and the cat would be outta bag.
sorry for such a long comment, but that is my two cents worth. its your life however, and you are free to choose whatever you wanna do. i hope my humble opinion has helped in some ways. :)
PS: btw, you have been tagged. go check out my blog. muhahahaha... :D
Thanks for your earlier response to my query.
I guess your present question reveals is the flip side of being bonded to students coz it is hard to get them to draw the line at times once they get too close.
I would surely advise you to turn them down thus maintaining some form of professional distance but I am sure you will do what is best for you. Cheers.
Thanks for your earlier response to my query.
I guess your present question reveals is the flip side of being bonded to students coz it is hard to get them to draw the line at times once they get too close.
I would surely advise you to turn them down thus maintaining some form of professional distance but I am sure you will do what is best for you. Cheers.
i would say "NO". Regardless how clear yr conscience is, u wouldn't know what kind of repercussions it may have or how things can be twisted against u.
Questions to ask:
Why do u need to play with them or they with u?
Are they seeking some kind of "authoritative" sanction/approval?
So use "professional distance" as yr excuse to say "NO".
Tell them that you'll arrange a game with them the moment they graduate. You'll be absolved of whatever professional responsibilities you have as a teacher and you'll still be able to bond with them although it'll be a little late.
I agree with chrischoo..
When I was in Secondary School, my classmates and I kept bugging our teachers to let us go to their places for CNY, and they always refused till we graduated. I think that's a good way of putting them on hold, but not blowing them off completely =)
P/S: I really like reading your blog, as it exposes me to the kind of shite that I'm gonna be in. Way to go! :P
A big thank you to everyone who has responded and given me some very good advice.
I have decided I will NOT entertain my students' request, for reasons many of you have listed.
While pondering over this issue, I am also reminded of the professional distance I need to draw with my students (as Kelvin Tan has so aptly put it).
Germs: I don't HAVE to play mahjong with my students. In fact, there are many things I don't have to do with my students, other than to just teach and do the minimum to get by as a decent teacher. But you see, I don't just want to be your garden variety type of teacher. That's why when students invite me to do stuffs with them, I will take time to consider their proposal. Anyway, your point is taken and I will be prudent and reject them this time.
Chrischoo: So mahjong after their O levels?? Now don't give me ideas....
Hi Jenny:
So you're going to be teaching soon? All the best and stay away from the jaded and bitter teachers who're more than eager to spread their poison to starry-eyed new teachers. Stay positive and enjoy your students!
I would suggest you play bridge instead. I'm told it is equally fascinating as a game.
Professional distance is over-rated IMO. The point of saying no to mahjong, I feel, is to avoid the negative connotations.
Work with the system to achieve your goals. But don't give up engaging your students outside class. You are already paying tennis with them, for example. Try another activity which interests them, without the risks.
I think it's good that you want to connect with your students on a personal level - but you also need to retain a certain amount of respect from your students if you want to remain their mentor.
i really enjoyed reading the comments from all the people in this post. :)
anyway wrt to the mahjong thingy, to me it's also a classic example of getting too close for comfort. i guess mahjong, like some other proximity games and events, not only break down barriers between people, but also bring them (much) closer because it is over many games/rounds that you start to see idiocyncrasies emerging.
and then there's the possibility it's not just about the teacher-student relationship, that the educator in question may be confident of managing; and other less-disciplined tongues, those out of your sphere of influence may start wagging. And in those situations, who can possibly predict what will be said.
reminds me of the workplace too, where in some cases I really enjoy having lunch with, and hanging out with bosses but don't do so often, or do so discreetly. the concern in this case is not so much about me or my conscience, but that of shying away from potentially incriminating/easily misunderstood situations. tough world, isn't it? :)
a.ball.of.yarn:
I have been having images of my face appearing in The New Paper, and headlines screaming about an Educator encouraging her students to gamble.
The rebellious child in me wants to retort : "Heck, I'm giving them a headstart in IR Management!"
OK OK, I'll kill these thoughts. I MUST be good role model. Sigh...
Hi Trisha,
Yes I am! *grins* Well on my way, to be exact. I can't wait till teaching starts proper coz there'll be no more formal lesson plans to do!
The school that I am in for practicum now has a very nurturing approach. Thank goodness most of my kids are only into MMORPGs and RPG card games, not mahjong and other games associated with gambling :P So I guess I'm gonna have it easy, for now...
My CTs are awesome! They are very encouraging and helpful, but yes, there are some teachers that tend to be a little jaded. I shall endeavour not to put too much stock in their criticisms of the kids =)
in some cases I really enjoy having lunch with, and hanging out with bosses but don't do so often, or do so discreetly. the concern in this case is not so much about me or my conscience, but that of shying away from potentially incriminating/easily misunderstood situations.
Wow. That is tough. Having lunch with the boss could be incriminating? You have some really insecure colleagues, man.
every workplace has a character all of its own, i'm sure you can understand that.:)
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